He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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