porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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