Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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