a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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