Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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