Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
