is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
