yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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