What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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