Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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