everyone is single if you try hard enough
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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