Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
