I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
