She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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