oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
