happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
