we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
