you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
