I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
