Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
