you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
