I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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