He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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