I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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