he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
