just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
