Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
