Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
