adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize