It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
