So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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