I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Pants are for mortals
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
