get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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