Having a random hookup so left but love u
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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