every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
