im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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