any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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