I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
