Non-Jews are for practice
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
