Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
