she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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