yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize