i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
