Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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