I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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