I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
