A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
