So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
