Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
