and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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