First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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