you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
